She was upset THIS TIME that I put the toilet paper over instead of under.
She’s controlling and wants everything her way… there’s no happy medium. If I go left, that’s wrong. If I go right, that’s wrong, too.
Now, I can’t even remember what we were arguing about. But one thing I know is that SOMETHING has to give. We NEVER agree on anything!
“If we don’t go to therapy… that’s it… I’m DONE!”
This is our last-ditch effort to save our marriage. If it doesn’t work, the next call will be to an attorney to work out a divorce.
We both come from broken homes, so I know we started on shaky ground. But we want to learn how to navigate marriage’s pitfalls.
DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION FOR US. This is our forever, forever!
Let’s be clear: Marriage is WORK.
Merging two individuals’ values into one can cause some friction, such as doing laundry one day a week versus daily. One partner grew up in the home where one towel was used weekly; however, the other partner grew up in the home where they got a fresh towel daily or whenever they showered.
Sometimes transitioning from “Me” and “My” (It’s all about me… I don’t want to do that with you…. That’s my car… That’s my house…) to “Our” and “We” (That’s our car… that’s our house… We like to go for a drive and see different sights each weekend…) can also present some challenges.
The majority of challenges are related to poor communication. Do we show empathy and concern for the other’s thoughts and opinions, or are we more like the couple mentioned above? The good news is when you enter therapy with me, I’ll teach you how to make your relationship WORK for you rather than against you.
Couples enter therapy for a variety of reasons.
Problem-solving skills
Do you and your partner go around the same issue repeatedly, and there doesn’t seem to be a resolution?
I’ll show you how to separate the problem from the disagreement, so there’s a happy medium – or at least a compromise.
Communication
Do you find yourself trying to prove your point and your partner is doing the same thing at the same time?
No one is listening. How is this working for you?
I can teach you both the skills needed to communicate better with one another so that each of you feels heard and respected.
Infidelity
Has emotional or physical infidelity wreaked havoc in your relationship? Not sure if staying or leaving the relationship is the best decision?
Give couples therapy a try with me, and let’s see if a RE-DO is possible.
Pre-marital counseling
It’s all about SYMBIS: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.
You and your partner will take the SYMBIS assessment separately. Once completed, I will contact you, schedule an appointment, and go over the results.
I will use the results to help you understand your relational and personal strengths for marriage. You’ll also get insight as to how your personalities mesh.
Pre-marital counseling gives you the knowledge and skills you need to strengthen your relationship long-term.
Post-marital counseling
I have trained in the Gottman Method Level 1 for couples counseling. As with pre-marital counseling, you and your partner will take a separate assessment alone. Once completed, I will contact you, schedule an appointment, and start by explaining your results. This approach helps gain respect, affection, and intimacy by increasing a greater understanding of empathy and eradicating poor communication within your relationship.
I will incorporate Emotional-Focused Therapy (EFT) interventions. EFT gives attention to the emotions within the relationship as they relate to conflict behaviors.
I also tend to draw from Narrative Therapy. In this therapy style, you have the power to change the “negative narrative” (current story or situation) to what you desire for a long-lasting, satisfying, and loving relationship.
How do you eat an elephant??
You’re probably confused by this question. But here’s the answer: one bite at a time!
This is how we’ll approach therapy: one step at a time… with an approach customized for you and your needs, wants, and goals.
Hmmm… I wonder how life would be different if you both had the power to transform your relationship into something BEAUTIFUL?
Please give me a call today and start transforming your relationship to what you want it to be: (951) 394-1903.
